THE SERENITY PRAYER

THE SENILITY PRAYER

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,

The good fortune to run into the ones that I do like,

and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m ‘older’ (but refuse to grow up), here’s what I’ve discovered:

ONE- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left.

TWO- My wild oats have turned into All Bran.

THREE- I finally got my head together; now my Body is falling apart.

FOUR- Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded…

FIVE- All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

SIX- If all is not lost, where is it?

SEVEN- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

EIGHT- Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

NINE- I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few…

TEN- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

ELEVEN- Accidents in the back seat cause…kids.

TWELVE- It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

THIRTEEN- The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re

in the bathroom.

FOURTEEN- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my

knees.

FIFTEEN- When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

SIXTEEN- It’s not hard to meet expenses… they’re everywhere.

SEVENTEEN- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

EIGHTEEN- These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the here after…I go  somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m here after.

NINETEEN – I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE GIVEN  THIS TO YOU BEFORE OR NOT, (but maybe you can relate).